Stress is defined by the Oxford dictionary as a state of mental or emotional strain or tension resulting from adverse or demanding circumstances. A divorce definitely constitutes as an adverse or demanding circumstance and is often met with a great deal of mental or emotional strain. Stress can appear as sadness, insomnia, mood swings, constant anxiety, withdrawal, irritability, and many other emotions. It can also manifest physically in the form of headaches, chest pain, fatigue, high blood pressure, dizziness, stomach cramps, and changes in sex drive. It is both common and expected to feel some level of stress during a divorce; your life as you have known it is changing. At Thistoo we want to make your divorce as easy as possible so we’ve come up with 5 different tips for minimizing your stress so that you can move forward to bigger and better things.
1. Accept the Reality of Your Situation
The number one thing you need to do is identify and accept the reality of your situation. You cannot move forward believing that the only thing that will change in your life is the presence of your spouse, this will result in high levels of stress when you’re hit unexpectedly with the reality of your situation. As much as it is important to not under exaggerate, it is equally important to not over exaggerate. Yes life as you know it is changing, but every aspect of your life is not changing. Your family and good friends will still be your family and friends, your financial situation will change but you will be able to get by, the future is uncertain but this provides a world of opportunity. You need to identify what is happening in your life and what changes you are going to face. By identifying what you have and what your problems will be you can address each situation with the appropriate response and manage your stress.
2. Take Time For Yourself
When going through a divorce you will have a lot to process and will likely experience a variety of emotions and feelings of loss. Take time to let yourself heal and mourn the loss. Be kind with yourself and don’t beat yourself up over things that are in the past and can’t be changed. Excess stress can make you sick, so it is important that you take the time to make sure that you are okay before worrying about everything else. Set time aside to do things that you simply enjoy; a hobby or coffee with a good friend. If you have children it is important that you are there for them and meet their needs, but not at the expense of your own health. Make sure that you are not always putting yourself last or others will suffer as a result. By taking the time to recharge you are ensuring that you can put your best self out there and can handle the oncoming events.
3. Reach Out to Others For Support
During a divorce it is easy to feel like you are alone. If you are feeling overwhelmed or like you are unable to cope, reach out to others for help and support. Your friends and family will want to be there for you and do what they can to help. You can also join a support group to talk to people who are going through the same things you are. Most communities will have divorce support groups or you can find virtual ones online. If you find that your emotions expand beyond stress to anxiety, depression, or grief seek out professional help to help you cope and heal.
4. Do your Research And be Prepared
Stress in divorce often comes from a lack of understanding or control of the situation. Do your research on the divorce process. You can use Thistoo’s Case Comparison tool to see how cases similar to yours were resolved and read through our blog and resolve feature to get a better understanding of the legal process. You should also review and prepare all of your financial documents. This is especially important if your spouse had traditionally looked after your finances. Before agreeing to anything, you want to have a firm understanding of what your current situation is and how it could change in the future. Meeting with a financial advisor can often help to clarify your financial situation and alleviate stress and confusion. By being prepared and knowing what is to come you can regain a sense of control over your life and minimize the stress and anxiety you feel.
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5. Focus on Your Long Term Goals
Keep things in perspective by developing and focusing on your long term goals. This is a difficult time but it is just that, only a point in time so you want to be making decisions that will benefit your future. Plan out some long term goals for after the divorce such as taking a trip to Italy, moving to the city, retiring in ten years, gaining new skills. Also decide what you need to leave this divorce with; whether that be full custody of your children, your pension, a friendly relationship with your Ex, etc. specify what your non-negotiables will be. These may change based on your long term goals so make sure to set those first. By thinking beyond your divorce to what's to come you can keep things in perspective and keep from getting bogged down by the stress of the divorce process. Focus on you goals and make each decision with them in mind to get through your divorce and on with your life.
Getting divorced will not be stress free but there are many different things you can do to minimize your stress. Try these five different tips to get through your divorce with the least stress possible. If your divorce is uncontested working with Thistoo will make the process that much easier. Thistoo provides you with all the tools needed for an uncontested divorce and will generate your divorce documents for you. Try it today to see how Thistoo can help you.