Common Divorce Mistakes

Getting divorced can be a complex and emotional process. You have built a life with this person and you now must untangle your lives and go separate ways. Thistoo aims to make this process as simple as possible by providing you with the tools and knowledge you need to get through your divorce. Here we are sharing 5 common mistakes that people make during a divorce and how to avoid them.

1. Not getting a separation agreement

A Separation agreement outlines the conditions for the one year separation period that you need to complete before filing for divorce. This covers everything from custody and living arrangements to occupational rent and bill payments. You and your spouse may be on good terms when you split but a lot can happen over the course of a year. Verbal agreements are difficult to prove or support in court so it is best to put everything in writing.

A separation agreement is also a good idea because it forces you and your spouse to discuss the terms of your separation. If you rely solely on assumptions and don’t discuss how things are going to change, you may find out too late that you and your spouse have very different ideas about the situation. By sitting down together to create and sign your separation agreement you will both be on the same page and have proof that you both agreed on the conditions of your separation. Having a separation agreement in place is the best way to ensure a smooth separation period with as little conflict as possible.

Generate your own separation agreement with thistoo:

2. Giving your spouse the divorce papers yourself

Your divorce may be a mutual decision, with you and your spouse separating on good terms. In this situation it is easy to think that you can save yourself some money and just give your spouse the divorce papers yourself. However, in doing so you eliminate the paper trail and the witness that prove your spouse received the papers, and the date that they did so on. If you spouse we’re to have a change of heart they could claim they never received the papers, or that they received them on a later date than they actually did. In this situation there is then little you could do to prove them wrong if you did not use a process server. You may think that you would never end up in this position but, on the off chance that it does happen to you it is best to be prepared.

3.  Not looking at all of your options

TV has left us with perceptions of divorce that are based largely on the traditional American system, one where each party gets a lawyer to fight on their behalf in court. In reality, very few divorce cases actually go to court and hiring a lawyer is not always necessary. There are many different ways to go about getting a divorce. Online tools such as Thistoo, guide you through the process and provide all of the necessary documentation for you. These types of tools can be used when your divorce is uncontested. If you divorce is contested you could try mediation or arbitration to sort out your differences. See our previous post on alternative dispute resolution for more information about these negotiation tactics. Another option is collaborative divorce where your lawyers work together to come up with solutions that benefit both parties. This previous post outlines the ins and outs of a collaborative divorce.

It is important that you research your options and choose the one that best suits your situation. If you don’t review all your choices you may end up experiencing unnecessary costs and conflicts.

4. Venting on Social Media

As countless crime movies have taught us, everything you say can and will be used against you. When it comes to social media keep this in mind, anything that you post online is admissible in court. The best practice is to keep anything to do with your divorce and your spouse off of social media. Making your accounts private or blocking your spouse will not suffice. They could use a friends account or create a fake one.

Keeping off of social media entirely while divorcing is also an option to consider. Many things that seem harmless could create real problems. In this digital age it is more important than ever that you are completely transparent about your finances and assets during your divorce. Anything you post online such as excitement about a promotion or a holiday you took could be used as evidence against you if you have not been completely honest. Deleting posts can put you in even more trouble as it is still possible to find them and may appear as you trying to hide evidence.

When it comes to social media think about how everyone you know and ever will know can potentially see what your saying. Your ex, future partners, your family and children, future employers, etc. If you are not completely comfortable with all of these people reading your posts you should refrain from saying it at all.

5. Signing documents you don’t understand

There are a lot of forms and documents involved in a divorce. Make sure you understand everything you are signing and agreeing to. Even if it is something your lawyer wrote up for you, be sure to read it through and get clarification on any parts that confuse you. Don’t become overwhelmed by legal jargon or be afraid to ask questions. Whether you are working with a lawyer, a company such as thistoo, or other methods of resolution, always seek out answers to your questions and make sure you fully understand everything.

 Your divorce doesn't have to be complicated. Thistoo can help you simplify the process. Head to to see how Thistoo can help you.