Divorce has a bad reputation, which seems a bit odd considering how common it is! You’ve probably heard the saying that 50 percent of all marriages end in divorce. That figure has been frequently contested, but the true Canadian divorce rate is not too far off- clocking in at 40 percent.
Debunking the stigma around divorce means more than just squashing rumours. Feeling trapped in a marriage has a lot to do with societal expectations that shame people into staying in unhappy, dysfunctional or abusive marriages. In many cases, divorce can be a truly positive and healthy option. For clarity in your decision-making process, we’re shattering the divorce myths for you:
1. Divorce does not represent a personal failure
Ending a dysfunctional relationship actually presents the circumstances for your own success. Recognizing that your marriage may be unhealthy for one or both spouses represents that you have a mature understanding of your own expectations. Choosing to end your marriage can mean creating a new lifestyle in which your personal needs and goals can be met.
2. Divorce does not have to be expensive
Filing for divorce does not have to mean a lengthy and expensive trial. An uncontested divorce is the alternative to going through a trial in court. This is the way most people end up getting divorced. It is a much less expensive option than going to court and offers spouses the opportunity to end their marriage quietly and with dignity. Taking this route and not involving lawyers does not have to be complicated either. The online personal divorce assistant, Thistoo, brings together experts in family law and information technology to streamline and simplify the process of uncontested divorce.
3. Divorce may be better suited than marriage counselling
While it’s true that a lack of communication, connection and trust can all be mended to a certain extent, what is insurmountable is a lack of desire to work on the relationship. Though counselling is certainly an avenue to try, when effort is not being put forward from one or both parties, it can be a pretty clear signal of the end of a marriage.
4. Divorce can bring many meaningful connections
Fear of loneliness motivates a lot of people to remain in unhappy marriages. However, post-divorce life can involve connecting with your family and friends in an even deeper way.
Healing after a divorce involves surrounding yourself with people who inspire, energize, care for and listen to you.
There may be feelings of resentment, rejection and depression relating to your past relationship. Redefining yourself beyond the confines of your marriage will welcome new opportunities into your life.
5. Divorce can benefit children
“Staying together for the kids” is a common justification for remaining in a dysfunctional marriage. However, living in a high-conflict household can be equally harmful to a child’s well-being.
Studies show that most children of divorce adjust well overtime, with their academic, emotional, behavioural and social performance being comparable to their peers with married parents.
Remaining together is not the only means by which both parents can remain as supportive figures in their children’s lives. Read our blog about collaborative co-parenting to learn more about how to foster a sense of consistency in you and your Ex’s parenting styles post-separation.
A good divorce is better than a bad marriage
Ultimately, understanding that divorce is the right decision for you allows you to begin looking towards a new chapter of your life. Contrary to popular belief, a divorce will provide you with the opportunity to improve your circumstances in several ways. This new chapter of your life can be one of happiness, safety, fulfilment and financial security for you and your children- and that’s no myth!