Dating after divorce can be scary. It may have been many years since you last went out on a first date. You may be hesitant to put yourself back out there, but no matter how old you are or how long you were married there is no reason to hold yourself back from experiencing dating and love again. Dating after divorce will be different than it was before you were married, but these differences make it all that much better. Here are three reasons why dating is better after divorce.
1. You are in touch with the reality of relationships
Many single people are in search of “the one,” their dream come true companion with whom they will live happily ever after. You may have felt this way going into your marriage or you may have not. Either way though, when dating after your divorce you are more in touch with the realities of relationships and dating. This isn’t an excuse to be jaded or bitter about relationships though. You are now more realistic about human flaws and understand the work required for a relationship. When you meet someone new, no matter how fantastic they may be, it will not be as easy for you to gloss over all their flaws and view them as your perfect match. This is good, as that type of behaviour often leads to disappointment and broken relationships when reality eventually sets in. By approaching a relationship without the fairytale ideology you will truly get to know your next partner and the two of you will learn to accept each other, flaws and all. This will provide a solid foundation for your relationship and make it that much more likely to last.
2. You're an adult dating other adults
Though you were an adult by all definitions of the term before your marriage, you are now a fully independent self supporting person and the people you date will likely also be. You have your own money, your own home or apartment. When dating in your twenties you more often than not have to worry about roommates, or even parents. You run the risk of finding only beer and leftovers in your dates fridge, and spending the night may involve a single bed or a futon. As you grow older these situations become less and less likely. You, and the people you will find yourself dating, are well established and able to provide for themselves and others. In comparison to the dating you did when you were younger you will find dating after divorce to be a much more mature and enjoyable experience.
3. You know what it takes to make a relationship last
You have seen both the highs and lows of a relationship. Though you might not have realized at the time, looking back you can probably figure out what went wrong and how things could have gone differently. Don’t spend your time obsessing over the what ifs of your previous marriage though. Instead use this insight in your next relationship. The experiences you have gained throughout your marriage make dating after the divorce that much easier; you now know what works and what doesn’t. You have fully experienced the fallout of a relationship and know what it takes to make one work. When you get seriously involved with someone again, you will be prepared for the work involved and will truly understand what that commitment means for you both.
Dating again after divorce can be frightening. Fears of rejection, the unknown, and failing may hold you back. Be confident in knowing that you are not alone and that when you're ready to get back into dating it will be better than you remember.