How to Heal After a Divorce

Ending a marriage marks not only the end of a relationship, but the end of a major chapter in your life. Adjusting to life after divorce can be difficult, but it isn’t impossible. Healing comes with time, effort, and these expert tips.

Navigating the healing process

It’s okay to grieve

Similar to how your body is in physical pain when you break your foot, or sprain your ankle, your body is just telling you that there is something to be healed. 

Although you may be anxious to move on and start a new chapter of your life, you have to first come to terms with your divorce. This process can take weeks, or even years in some cases. Give yourself the time you need to process these emotions. After all, your entire life is changing. Your routine, family schedule and even your close friends may fluctuate.

Give yourself a break 

Allow yourself to not be fully functional at this time. Everyone needs time to find a new normal. Take time for yourself, allow yourself to re-group your thoughts, and identify priorities. Taking care of your well-being, including your mental health, should be at the top of your list. It isn’t uncommon to take a few days off of work around the decision of your separation, or the finalization of your divorce.

Create a Routine

Find activities to do that bring you peace, calm you down, or take your mind of off your divorce. Doing yoga, going for a walk, or picking a new TV show can help you refocus your energy. 

If your daily routine will be changing, try to find points of consistency, and practice them daily. Doing this can help calm yourself mentally and physically, bringing normalcy back into your life.

 

Create a new routine

Don’t go through this alone

Don’t be afraid to go to your family and friends. Surround yourself with people who inspire, energize, care for and listen to you. Those who care for you will support you in your time of need regardless of the past. You will be making big decisions in this time while you are reorganizing your life. Friends and family can give you objective advice.

Seek local support groups. You’d be surprised how many people have gone through similar experiences to you, have conquered them, and are willing to share their experience. It is equally comforting to tell your story to a group of people who understand your situation. 

If you are not ready for either of these options, try to journal once a day. Not only will it track your healing, but it will also help organize your thoughts and help you make decisions with a clear mind.

Find yourself again

You lived a life before you and your ex-spouse married each other, and you will find that independence again. Is there anything things you enjoyed doing before your marriage that you stopped doing since then? 

Apply the lessons you've learned to your next relationship

There was a reason why your marriage didn’t work out. Whether the separation was because of clashing personalities, poor communication or misunderstandings, the past may repeat itself if you rush into another romantic relationship too quickly. Take your time, explore your freedom, and allow yourself to fully embrace yourself before you look for romantic prospects. 

Think of this time as an opportunity to look at the walls you may have built in order to protect yourself emotionally. Acknowledge the things that may be preventing yourself to let go of the past. 

Don’t be too hard on yourself- you have made good decisions and were strong enough to walk away from a relationship that wasn’t meant to be. Look at the past as an opportunity to learn more about the type of person you are. Appreciate the times when you have shown strength, as well as acknowledge times of weakness, learning from them in order to make better choices next time. Ultimately, be patient with yourself. A broken foot takes 8 weeks to heal, so a broken heart will take much longer – but not forever.